I try to be the best friend that I can be. I am a giving and caring person. As a friend, I rarely drink the last beer in the fridge. If I borrow a bracelet, generally, I return it to it's owner (unless it looks better on me, which I cannot help, it is just meant to be).
When I shop with my friends, I am truthful. I never lie about how much (or little) a pair of jeans flatters the a$$. I encourage my friends to buy stuff that will look great on me so that I can borrow it. My friends can count on me because I am fair and thoughtful. When it comes to shopping, I am practically the best friend that anyone has ever known.
It should serve as no surprise that my friends highly value my opinion when dating someone new. Last weekend, Karon met a new man. James and Karon went out for dinner and later, for drinks. Karon called me from the restroom of the bar. She was having a great time. James was interesting and respectful and attractive but, something was not quite right. I agreed to show up at the bar and check him out for myself. First date ambushes are one of my specialties.
A first date ambush is a lot like a first date. I show up late, order a few cocktails and talk about myself. The biggest difference is that I don't bother to put on mascara. I try to keep the focus on my friend and mascara would be a distraction. Another major difference between a first date and a first date ambush is that I don't stick my tongue down the guy's throat. Sometimes, that part doesn't go as well as I had intended.
I showed up at the bar and quickly found Karon and James. I hadn't even taken a seat when I knew what was wrong with him. I walked over to the table and James, the perfect gentleman, stood up and shook my hand. He offered me a seat. He pulled out the chair and made a space for me by removing his man purse. I stayed for a cocktail and made polite small talk about the weather and the presidential debates and about whether or not my hair is too red. I avoided making conversation about fashion as I knew that I was not above discussing his purse. When I finished my drink, I politely excused myself and left the two of them to finish their date.
The next day, Karon came over with a bottle of wine to review the evening with me. Everything had gone well but, she didn't feel any chemistry. "What am I going to tell him to get out of a second date?" she asked me.
"Tell him his shoes didn't match his damn purse," I responded.
I wish that she would consider dating him another time. I'm dying to know what he keeps in him man purse.